This month's lucky #8 is L'Oreal...congrats!! Here is her original query:
And here is my critique:
I'm excited that we have a nonfiction contest winner this month, because nonfiction queries are much different from their fiction counterparts--they are ALL ABOUT PLATFORM!! The query is already well-written, so I didn't have any notes about that, but as you can see from my edits and comments, I think L'Oreal needs to pump up her background info and "vital stats" here in order to really catch an agent's eye.
Nonfiction platforms need to emphasize an author's qualifications and background, the branding they have already done, and the tools at their disposal to promote the book. L'Oreal, I think you're already on your way to having a great query for this project, and I hope my thoughts are helpful! Once you add in this info, I think you should be ready to start sending this out.
Everyone else, if you have any thoughts or questions to share, chime in with comments!