Deborah is the winner of 2020's first query critique—yay for her!
This is her original query:
And here is my critique:
I'm a big fan of picture book biographies—they are great introductions to people and historic events kids may not know about. For me, the most memorable picture book biographies are ones that approach their subject in a fun, unique way—for instance, GEORGE WASHINGTON'S TEETH!
In that vein, I wanted to see more specific information included in this query about just what the book will be about and WHY is deserves space on a bookshelf. What is its wider purpose, besides profiling Marjory Stoneman Douglas? Is it to teach children about the environment? Is it to include STEM concepts? Is it to encourage activism? I tried to insert language that gave the answer to this a bit more.
I also deleted the phrase about discussing the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School—it's not related to her biography and is too adult content-wise for your intended audience.
Hopefully my edits are helpful! I wish you the best of luck with this. If anyone has any thoughts or comments, chime in below.