This month's query critique winner is KayLynn. Congratulations! Here is her original query:
And here is my critique:
I love the premise of this story and think that a queer YA fantasy will make any agents' ears perk up! However, I did find the explanation of the plot confusing at times and did my best to smooth out the flow so that reader's can get a better grasp of the story line.
We still need additional explanations inserted, though, to give more context on the monster and how it is controlling Celina. In my head, the monster is a Venom-esque character but there is nothing in the query to really support that. I'd also like to see a teeeeeny bit more about the other members of Celina's group of newfound friends and their roles--are they all freedom fighters like Audrey?
I hope this critique is helpful and gets you a step closer on your querying journey, KayLynn. Best of luck! If anyone has any thoughts to add, feel free to comment below!